A Toast To the Status Quo
by rev lady mal
Summary: England has a heart to heart chat about the apparent break up of Eastern Europe and the Warsaw Pact with Russia.


"I must admit Russia, I'm impressed with the courage of Poland and recent events there, and also how calm you've remained through it." England sipped at his tea and looked across the coffee table at the tall country sitting opposite him, who waited for the staff member to finish preparing his tea.

"_Spasiba_ England," He replied, hands resting on his knees. He looked like a child excited with anticipation of going to the circus.

England smiled and set his teacup down on its saucer. "Am I to understand that you will continue with this policy, to let Eastern Europe determine their governments for themselves on the condition of remaining in the Warsaw Pact?"

Russia's eyes warmed softly as he looked at England, his smile almost sweet. "When I was little boy I liked to catch flies and pluck hair from Belarus' head and then tie hair to the fly. It was fun holding on while the fly flew around desperately trying to get away. This reminds me very much da?"

England's stared for a moment, "Uhm … ahem … yes, I suppose so." He set his tea down and adjusted in his seat before continuing. "What I'm going to say next is between you and I Russia. It can go no further.

Russia daintily stirred his tea with a tiny spoon, "Da, I agree, what do you want to say?"

England watched the other country taste his tea before continuing. "I and the other NATO countries are very concerned about what's going on in East Germany. It appears some major changes could happen there."

Russia's smile never wavered as he looked at England. "The president is ill, and people feel uncertain about the future, that is all."

"Thousands have fled East Germany though, on the surface, things look very favorable for the west." England said, watching confusion begin to show on Russia's face. "However, I have to say our concern is growing on whether you can maintain control of the situation."

"When America's boss makes speeches in Berlin demanding my boss tear down the wall, what impression are people supposed to get? They think the west wants to help them. The west is only interested in profits, not the welfare of the people. At least I love my people like children, and sometimes children must be disciplined, da?"

"Yes, I suppose they do," England answered, standing up and walking to the table where the teapot sat. Pouring a fresh cup of tea he continued, "The reunification of Germany is not in the interests of Britain and Western Europe. It may look otherwise in the public media and official NATO communications, but I assure you the last thing we want is for Germany to be a unified country again."

Russia's teacup stopped in mid-air. "Eh? What was that?"

"Also, as for the rest of Eastern Europe, publicly we applaud their efforts at changing their governments internally, but we hope that is where it will stay, and not cause a breakup of the Warsaw Pact. Am I coming through clearly?"

Russia stood and walked towards England so he towered over the shorter country. He smiled broadly and reached into his long coat, causing England to warily watch his hand as it rummaged around inside the fabric until reemerged with a bottle of vodka and a shot glass in his hand.

"And … what is America's opinion of this?" He asked, pouring a generous amount of vodka into the glass before handing it to England.

England accepted the glass, "Cheers, America agrees with Western Europe one hundred percent, I spoke to him myself. Please understand, his economy is dependent on the Cold War so much now if the Soviet Union were to collapse well then … his economy would suffer, which would cause the rest of us to suffer as well. Even his movie industry needs the Soviet Union to exist. He wanted me to personally let you know that he has no intention of doing anything that might put you at any risk Russia. I promised him I would tell you myself."

Russia raised the vodka bottle, "Then let us drink toast to maintaining the status quo?"

England clinked his glass against Russia's bottle "To the status quo."

They both drained their respective vessels of vodka and smashed them into the fireplace.

"_Nastarovia!"_ Russia shouted, and looked down at England. "So, you want me to pull out more of my sister's hairs?"

"Aye, that's one way to put it Russia." England replied. He turned away to collect his overcoat and briefcase. "I appreciate this little chat Russia, and I'm glad we understand each other."

Da! This I can do. By the way, East Germany celebrates 40th anniversary soon, would you like to come?"

England turned and smiled, "Thank you, but I believe that it's important we keep up appearances, although I do appreciate the gesture." He extended his hand to Russia, who grasped it firmly, causing England to wince as they shook hands.

Russia continued to smile, his eyes lighting up at the visible look of discomfort on England's face. "You're welcome England, I like to be helpful. I am the nicest guy I know."

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This isn't fantasy or the answer to a "what if" essay question. This is based on an actual transcript between PM Thatcher and President Gorbachev recorded on September 23, 1989. At the time, despite NATO publicly calling for the reunification of Germany, they secretly told the Soviet Union they wanted the opposite, citing destabilization and increasing security risks for western powers being the reason. Don't know about you but reading that transcript gave me chills. How sinister is that?


End file.
